Andy Weir's Comics Forum Forum

[Xaxers]

[Eyejayarr]

I know that Smite Evil damage doesn't stack, and I didn't actually figure that into the calculations. However, you still deal more damage on a smite critical than a smite non-critical.

But I think I managed to prove that the Pun Paladin could one-shot Andy's character, anyway.
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[Xaxers]

God, that was garbage UBB coding by me. Must be a lot more tired than I thought.


One shotting is easy and fun to do, if you take the time to do it right.

[The Maltese Weasel]

Smite stacks on crits. Everything stacks on crits except for +dice stuff (like +8d6 Sneak Attack, +1d6 flaming weapon, +2d6 Holy weapon, etc). Which makes Power Attack + weapons with high threat ranges ungodly powerful (although PA is just ungodly powerful, period, in 3.5). Since the Pun Paladin isn't carrying a shield, and the cheesecake shot has her holding the sword with both hands, we can assume it's a bastard sword, or at least a longsword wielded two-handed, meaning Power Attack goes 1:2 ratio. In other words, -10 attack for +20 damage. Assuming an average 10th level Paladin smiting Punner, we're talking +36 damage alone, not even counting any rolls or critting. In short, Dirk Wagonslayer isn't just dead, he's gibbed.
This is why you should always check for Paladins before punning. It's not just safe. It's the LAW.
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[Quantum_Actor]

We also neglect the possibility of the weapon itself having enhancements. Suppose the Pun Paladin is armed with a +2 Human Bane (or perhaps Punner Bane) bastard sword. In addition to all the damage thus far calculated in previous posts, Dirk would take an additional 2D6 damage, and +4 from the enhancement bonus of the weapon. (bane weapons add +2 the the effective enhancement bonus when used against their bane group).

Or, if we wanted to bring *really* elaborate theories into play, then the Pun Paladin may be a gestalt character as per the rules in Unearthed Arcana. Suppose she was a 10th level Paladin/Rouge (an unlikely combination, but I have seen stranger ones). Despite the readily implied alignment conflict in this combination, review of the 3.5 rules reveals that rouges can be of any alignment, including lawful good. If this were the case, she would deal him an additional 5D6 sneak attack damage. This assumes that she is several levels higher than Dirk (so as to negate the benefit of uncanny dodge), but if Dirk has died as frequently as Andy has, then the theory is plausible. Dirk has died on a few notable occasions, such as when he discovered the Gem of God-Fooling and Wand-Proof Rouge-Slaying, and death is readily implied from the "Attack of the Displacing Undead Elemental Plant/Ooze Constructs" adventure. This means that Dirk need only have died twice more to give the Pun Paladin a four-level advantage on him (Placing him at 6th level assuming that the mode party level is 10). This would allow her to negate the benefit of his Uncanny Dodge ability and thus sneak attack him. The gestalt theory has the added advantage of providing another explaination for the skimpy armor. In order to make use of the improved skill list granted by the rouge class, the Pun Paladin would probably wear armor that allows greater freedom of movement, thus reducing the Armor Check penalty for her new skills.

This is the type of thing I think about about when the power goes out.
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